Okay, I just need to clear my head for a moment.
This is the only place I feel as if when I talk, I won't get reamed out at and what not by just saying what I feel.
What the joy of having a short temper anymore. I just want to freak out on people for no reason. I really and truly hate it. But also, it doesn't help when they actually need it to, then I feel like the bad guy/they put me as a bad guy. Can't really win with that one.
Now, today was a asdklfgas dgfuaidslfm,asdf day pretty much. It was good and then it went downhill and then back up and now back down. I just want to know what the hell is wrong with me for having weird mood changes like that.
Well, either way, I am just going to suck it up and deal with it like normal and I just hope I don't completely flip out on someone.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Spring 2011 Semester.
So, already this semester:
-I've had two relationships which both fell through.
>Yeah. I was dating Erich, but that didn't seem right at all. I gave it a shot. That is what I get for doing that.
>Then I dated Michael Guzik. I should have known better with that one too. He seemed like a nice guy, and we have a great friendship. We tried it, and then he wouldn't talk to me, and said I was too clingy. Okay then. But, as other people told me, he was a man whore, but I never believed them. Now I do.
-I've had sex, when I was single.
>What in the hell is wrong with me???? This is the one of the few things that I ever regret doing. My mind and my heart didn't want it, but I guess my body did. I really wish I had more self control...
-I had a crush go out with my little, which hurt like bad.
>I love Brittany to death. She is one of the greatest little's ever :) But when her and Justin started dating, when I told him again that I still had a huge crush on him, it took me down. But I gained up the courage to say, "I'm proud of you guys"
-I might not be able to take my upper divisional because I am going to be so delayed with my Praxis.
>Fuck my life. I was never good at trying to get dates and what not all figured out for these huge tests. Now look, it is biting me right in the ass and delaying my college career. This makes me think if I am actually cut out for this.
-I gained a Grand-little in TBS.
>Woo! The one happy thing in this whole mess of my life. Kit See, you will go far in the sisterhood. I'm proud that you are in my family, and I'm proud to be your Grand Big :)
-I've gotten drunk.
>Yep, I drink. Shit happens. But I'm just glad that it wasn't the point of "Holy shit, I'm going to puke everywhere; I don't know where I am or what I did last night; Fffffffuuuuuuuuuu I have a hangover." I guess I am lucky in that aspect?
-I've been threatened to public safety.
>Thanks little. Ugh. Might as weel get this out in the open. I cut. I didn't think I would ever revert to that, EVER! But it started in the Summer of 2010. I was going through so much stress and an Anti-Depressant(for headaches) and it just happened. Until now, I've done it. I can't do this to myself anymore...
-I am already getting behind in my classes.
>This online class is going to kill me :/ There are so many assignments that I have no idea what to do. Lovely. And! I'm behind in my Music Ed Seminar class.
-I'm an emotional wreck 24/7 (Yes, even during times when I was happy).
>Why? Just look above and below. Along with all of my classes, my 5 ensembles, the 2 Greeks, MENC, and all of these stressers, who wouldn't be?
-I've smoked.
>Yes, Amanda Lee Hershey smoked. Disgusting, huh? I was drunk and I wanted to try it, and I did. Yeah, I know I'm stupid, but you can't change the past.
-I've been told that my other little has a crush on me.
>Now how do you exactly deal with this when your little is a girl and you like guys? Ugh......
and
-I've gone to bed crying, almost every single night.
>Again, look at all of the things that cause it. Is college really supposed to do this to people?
Yeah. The semester is basically half-way through and I did all of that. God damn...
-I've had two relationships which both fell through.
>Yeah. I was dating Erich, but that didn't seem right at all. I gave it a shot. That is what I get for doing that.
>Then I dated Michael Guzik. I should have known better with that one too. He seemed like a nice guy, and we have a great friendship. We tried it, and then he wouldn't talk to me, and said I was too clingy. Okay then. But, as other people told me, he was a man whore, but I never believed them. Now I do.
-I've had sex, when I was single.
>What in the hell is wrong with me???? This is the one of the few things that I ever regret doing. My mind and my heart didn't want it, but I guess my body did. I really wish I had more self control...
-I had a crush go out with my little, which hurt like bad.
>I love Brittany to death. She is one of the greatest little's ever :) But when her and Justin started dating, when I told him again that I still had a huge crush on him, it took me down. But I gained up the courage to say, "I'm proud of you guys"
-I might not be able to take my upper divisional because I am going to be so delayed with my Praxis.
>Fuck my life. I was never good at trying to get dates and what not all figured out for these huge tests. Now look, it is biting me right in the ass and delaying my college career. This makes me think if I am actually cut out for this.
-I gained a Grand-little in TBS.
>Woo! The one happy thing in this whole mess of my life. Kit See, you will go far in the sisterhood. I'm proud that you are in my family, and I'm proud to be your Grand Big :)
-I've gotten drunk.
>Yep, I drink. Shit happens. But I'm just glad that it wasn't the point of "Holy shit, I'm going to puke everywhere; I don't know where I am or what I did last night; Fffffffuuuuuuuuuu I have a hangover." I guess I am lucky in that aspect?
-I've been threatened to public safety.
>Thanks little. Ugh. Might as weel get this out in the open. I cut. I didn't think I would ever revert to that, EVER! But it started in the Summer of 2010. I was going through so much stress and an Anti-Depressant(for headaches) and it just happened. Until now, I've done it. I can't do this to myself anymore...
-I am already getting behind in my classes.
>This online class is going to kill me :/ There are so many assignments that I have no idea what to do. Lovely. And! I'm behind in my Music Ed Seminar class.
-I'm an emotional wreck 24/7 (Yes, even during times when I was happy).
>Why? Just look above and below. Along with all of my classes, my 5 ensembles, the 2 Greeks, MENC, and all of these stressers, who wouldn't be?
-I've smoked.
>Yes, Amanda Lee Hershey smoked. Disgusting, huh? I was drunk and I wanted to try it, and I did. Yeah, I know I'm stupid, but you can't change the past.
-I've been told that my other little has a crush on me.
>Now how do you exactly deal with this when your little is a girl and you like guys? Ugh......
and
-I've gone to bed crying, almost every single night.
>Again, look at all of the things that cause it. Is college really supposed to do this to people?
Yeah. The semester is basically half-way through and I did all of that. God damn...
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Seminar Blog Post. SmartMusic in Education.
I first heard of the SmartMusic Program in eighth grade. My bad director was a recent graduate and fresh into the teaching world and she was an avid supporter of more modern methods of music education. In the beginning, I myself was not a fan of the program. I and my peers in the band had found the program to be difficult to handle without the direct supervision of our director. However, after some time had passed, the program became more familiar to us and it was drastically improving our performance in ensemble.
The program itself is an excellent method of teaching in that it combines musical practice with the precision of a computer program. Each mistake made is shown to the performer with crystal clarity. This helped us all see exactly what our problem was and allowed us to fix it for the next time we performed. This also allowed those who had a learning aptitude toward visual learning to actually see their mistakes instead of just hearing them. Also, the program can be used at home to practice. This eliminates the variable of at home experience. There would no longer be the gamble of whether or not there is a person with previous musical knowledge there to listen to a practice session. The SmartMusic will listen and it will always be able to identify the mistakes and display them with near one-hundred percent accuracy.
Since becoming an aspiring music educator at Clarion University, I have been using the SmartMusic Program to learn new instruments from the ground up. It has been a near indispensible tool in my repertoire. It has helped me the most with the glockenspiel and trumpet. These methods have been very useful to me and I plan to use them in my own classes when I graduate.
Since becoming an aspiring music educator at Clarion, I have used the SmartMusic Program to help with my method courses from the ground up. It has been a near indispensable tool in my repertoire.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
UPDATEEEEEEEE!
So I keep on forgetting to update this only for the fact that I have been totally busy. Wow, this semester is going to bite me in the butt. Oh well. :P
Now, the UPDATES on my classes.
Theory III: Pretty interesting, I must say. On Fridays, we actually do legit theory. The other days, we work on this collaborative project for Oil City. It is so difficult to find a country song in 3/4. BAH!
Piano III: There is only two of us. I am there right at the beginning of class and Joe comes late because of a class conflict. Wonderful!
Conducting: I absolutely love this class! Yeah, it is pretty difficult, but Dr. Teske makes it interesting. :)
Concert Choir: Same shit as last year. But we are doing the German Requiem. I love being able to listen to tone-deaf people sing as loud as they can.
Symphonic (Text) Band: Brittany, Jill, and I rock that percussion section :) End of story.
Aural Skills III: This might kick my ass this year. He jacked up the percentage for pop quizzes, and those are my weak spots. I have been practicing which is odd for me. I can do this though!
Woodwinds: Reg is fucking amazing! Right now, I have the clarinet and it is so much fun :)
Seminar/Rep: Same shit, different semester. XD
1750: Same thing as Antiquities, but with more people. Wells still cannot teach, Kyle is still the "Language guru", and I still don't pay attention. Yep. Life is good.
Wind Ensemble (Chamber Winds): There are 10 of us, and I'm the only perc. Woo! So instead of doing normal Wind Ensemble music, we do chamber music.
Chamber Singers: Yep, still the same. We just got back from IUP from the PCCA festival. It was so much fun! :D
Orchestra: So, my third class with Teske and it is amazing :) It is so interesting on the methods he uses.
Music Ed. Seminar: Brought to you by Dr. Toney. Only had two classes with him, because I missed this past week due to PCCA. Either way, we just get to talk about how education is important and all that jazz.
Alright, now to protect my computer from Emily and Meghan. XD
Now, the UPDATES on my classes.
Theory III: Pretty interesting, I must say. On Fridays, we actually do legit theory. The other days, we work on this collaborative project for Oil City. It is so difficult to find a country song in 3/4. BAH!
Piano III: There is only two of us. I am there right at the beginning of class and Joe comes late because of a class conflict. Wonderful!
Conducting: I absolutely love this class! Yeah, it is pretty difficult, but Dr. Teske makes it interesting. :)
Concert Choir: Same shit as last year. But we are doing the German Requiem. I love being able to listen to tone-deaf people sing as loud as they can.
Symphonic (Text) Band: Brittany, Jill, and I rock that percussion section :) End of story.
Aural Skills III: This might kick my ass this year. He jacked up the percentage for pop quizzes, and those are my weak spots. I have been practicing which is odd for me. I can do this though!
Woodwinds: Reg is fucking amazing! Right now, I have the clarinet and it is so much fun :)
Seminar/Rep: Same shit, different semester. XD
1750: Same thing as Antiquities, but with more people. Wells still cannot teach, Kyle is still the "Language guru", and I still don't pay attention. Yep. Life is good.
Wind Ensemble (Chamber Winds): There are 10 of us, and I'm the only perc. Woo! So instead of doing normal Wind Ensemble music, we do chamber music.
Chamber Singers: Yep, still the same. We just got back from IUP from the PCCA festival. It was so much fun! :D
Orchestra: So, my third class with Teske and it is amazing :) It is so interesting on the methods he uses.
Music Ed. Seminar: Brought to you by Dr. Toney. Only had two classes with him, because I missed this past week due to PCCA. Either way, we just get to talk about how education is important and all that jazz.
Alright, now to protect my computer from Emily and Meghan. XD
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